writer (books, late night with jimmy fallon, other stuff)
my twitter my instagram
animals with casts i hate my parents
(Source: dead-irish-writers111232454, via waklyf)
(via andrealessi)
(Source: stonerparty, via ikeapunx)
my friend makes these http://store.hailcrystalann.com/
(Source: dailyanimals, via andrealessi)
(Source: kurtation)
To be fair…
(‘The Mindy Project’, S01E22)
(Source: takenoadvicefromtv)
(Source: theamericankid, via ethonggg)
Oh yeah, this looks legitimate.
Discarded early drafts of this sign:
FREE CANDY!
Building at Corner
<—————————CHEAP MAMMOGRAMS:
Building at Corner
<—————————SPEED-DATING
Single? Unattached?
No one who will miss you should something terrible happen?
Building at Corner
<—————————Meeting For The NO KIDNAPPING Club
Are You A Pretty Lady Who Hates Kidnapping And Wants To Discuss It With Other Likeminded Individuals?
Us too!
We Are Definitely Not Kidnappers!
Come To Our Meeting And We Will Totally Not Kidnap You!
(No Cops)
Building at Corner
<—————————KNOW HOW TO MAKE A PROFESSIONAL-LOOKING NOT CREEPY SIGN?
We could use your services
Please bring a resume and portfolio to the
Building at Corner
<—————————Auditions:
Female Singers With Nice Feet
Must Have “Cute” “Petite” Feet
Must Not Get Weird About Us Taking Pictures Of Your Feet
Bring Sheet Music (Accompanist Provided)
Building at Corner
<—————————HEY LADY SINGERS!
Come Into This Dark Mysterious Building, Why Not
Worst-Case Scenario The Endless Cable News Coverage Of Your Almost Certain Grisly Abduction And Gruesome Dismemberment Followed By Lengthy Trial, Interviews With Cops, Friends, Loved Ones, Lifetime Movie, Book Deals For All, Early Home Movies Taken “In Happier Times,” Etc., Etc., May Bring Some Much-Needed Exposure To Your Fledgeling Musical Career
Building at Corner
<—————————
(via shadowsarenothingtofear)
(Source: animalsthatdopeoplethings, via those-entrails)